Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The SUE Files: Read This One Dramatically

One of the other players was kind enough to end abridged versions of the prophecies mentioned up in Dragonslayers, albeit without the curly font.

Here's the first one, about going to the island:

When Primal Forces stir,
The Cauldron’s Child and Frozen Lily meet.
The promise of return will lure,
Endless Guardians to defeat.

Upon the distant, mystic Isle,
The guardians’ guard shall seek to test.
Through magic, strength, or gift of guile,
To prove your worth:  this challenge best.

The seer writes upon the page:
The means to lift both Curse and Boon.
Hidden knowledge of the Never Age,
Sealed in written Rune.

--- (Mercifully shortened, iirc)

But after spell and lock and cage
The final trial still yet awaits
yet raise the Cutter high in rage,
and so sealed is the Soldier's fate.

And here's the second one, the much-abridged version of the summary of the ritual:

Beasts Eternal guard the sacred Rift. What cannot be killed can only be shunned, bound
beyond its means for an eternity. The ritual means, written below, fills this and only this
purpose. Sacrifice will be required, of both the performer and the performee.
Ingredients Necessary
Twenty-Nine Courics of Crystalline Reality, Pure
Forty-Seven Courics of Matter, Premature
Five Pounds of Dragon Eye, eight in total, of equivalent weight
Ten Pounds of Dust of Diamond, ground within a Basalt mortar with a pestle of Mithril
Three-Hundred Seventy-Eight Candles, Tallow struck through with the Wax of Bees
Forty-Three Gallons of Ichor, taken from a Fuchsian Worm
One Dragon Fang, taken from a still-living dragon of no less than three Millennia in Age
One Mortar, carved from a Fallen Star with a Blade of Adamant
Seventeen Cauldrons, forged of Silver and Hardened with the Blood of Angels
Twenty-Five Obsidian Rods
One Brush, forged of Adamant with head of Phoenix Down, per Participant
Grind the Pure Crystalline Reality within the Starmetal Mortar using the Fang of the
Dragon. Prepare not in advance, or the Reality will begin to deteriorate. Store in Sixteen
of the Angel Blood Cauldrons, evenly distributed.
Mix the Matter Premature and the Wormblood together in the final Cauldron with a
Rod of Black Glass, before adding the mix to the other Cauldrons in turn. Repeat until
supplies are exhausted.
Roll the Dragon Eyes in the Dust of Diamonds. Drop the Eye of Dragon into the
Mixture, one for each of half the Cauldrons. The remaining Dust of Diamond is added to
the self-same Set.
Mix each Cauldron with a Rod of Black Glass, stirring Widdershins against the
currents existent. New Rods will be required to finish mixing the Cauldrons of Dragonic
From Black to Blue of Sky the Lesser Mixture grows, while Black to Red the
Mixture of Power glows.
Place now the Candles within the Cauldrons Lesser, their Wicks without to lift from out.
Allow to soak for Hours Three.
Heat Both with Flames Arcane until the point of Froth and Boil, then Chill until the
Colours mute.
Utter unto Mixtures then, the Phrase
Vers Drilgic, Korinth Yinxirzijic
Fethos Versvesh, Dibelaci Jihai
Upon such Utterance, Black becomes Thy Toil.
Use now the Brushes prepared against Fire and Destruction to construct the Sigils of
Power. Apply the Lesser Mixture to create the Great Circles and Central Runes, and
the Mixture of Power to create the Inner Circles of Runes. Draw first upon the
Lesser’s Power, lest the Greater Power refuse to be Tamed. Once drawn the Lesser
marks, apply the greater under Lesser’s Grip.
A Circle, Nine Paces wide, ascribes the Top. Nine Paces further mark Each of those
that lie Below. The Runes that mark the Intersects painted in the Lesser Mixture, while
those Without are made of That with Power.
Apply the marks in careful time, for limited is the time that the marks will last. Without
the treated vessel contained, the Power quickly burns that which Lasts.
Upon Completion, but not a drop of Mixture before, the Phrase of Binding must be
Uttered, lest the Mixture turn to Bile, and do naught but Poison the lands it touches.
Azarun nomeno Tharm, fogah koli Creafora, vur jikmada wer Dos di Oium vur Tairais
ekess azarun wer Fueryoni malrak waphir. Ini Asta Iejir si azarun Astahi, ini sia Iejir
si azarun nomeno Tharm.
All Assistants must form a circle, evenly spaced, within the Top Circle. The Frozen Lily
must take her place at the foot of the Lonely Rune within the selfsame Circle.
Upon the emergence of the Beasts Eternal, the Ritual itself will Commence. The
Assistants must repeat the Pledge of Binding during the time.
Si majak di sio ihk wer vragul di azarunra wer Fueryoni Ro. Sia mamiss nishka vers wer
Azarunra, sia Geou vur Fedark ui majaktor ekess wer gjahall di wer Sultana Iri, wer
Sargti di wer Salora.
To the Leader of the Ritual goes the power of the Timing. By invoking the Binding
Dictum, the Frozen Lily may seek to seal the Beasts fought, though a sacrifice of both the
Circle and the Dragon must be provided. Only when sufficient Blood has been spilled of
the Beast may the Ritual succeed, for the Beast’s own Blood must be presented against it,
though the Ritual exacts its own tribute upon the invocation of Dictum.
The Binding Dictum must be stated using the Name of that which is invoked to be bound.
The Eternal Beasts, thrice named by Man and God, respond only to their First Names,
those bestowed upon them before the Gods, Abbadon and Tanith.
“I Invoke thy name, ______, and Bind thee. I break thy Curse, and Banish thee to the
Realm that Isn’t. Your Blood bears Witness against Thee, and now this Circle gives of
Itself to Seal thee.”
Only one of the Beasts can be bound with a single Invocation of name, though once bound
naught can escape the grip of the Bonds. Upon both being bound, the final Seal may be
enacted with the final Proclamation of the Keyed Key. The Ritual shall claim its
sacrifice, a the lock to place upon the Beasts’ Prison, a possession of attachment and
investiture to the Invoker.
Once Chosen, the Proclamation must be given.
Persvek wer Boja vin tiselaiw tepohaic sultada,
Vin krunir: wer dos di Tairais jikmadator.
Boga wer Dos, wer Molis vur Stoth nishka wielg,
Sari treskri lowda ini Driki vur Kepesk.
Mrith regipre de wer Hianag di wer Ricin,
Ro Fueryoni nishka jaseve asta Sultana Platohol zara.
Upon this Utterance, the Beasts and their Lock shall be lost, forever gone from the
And with their Absence, so is it Imminent for the Frozen Lily and the Cauldron’s Child.

Next time: Suetopia!


  1. Wow, that's a lot of hoops to jump through to do what he wants.

    Did he make you guys stand on your heads in real life, too? 9_9

  2. DAMN that poetry is bad. I refuse to read the ritual to give a response to that, but seriously, it doesn't even have a discernable meter. It's just sentences of random length that end on a rhyme if you're lucky.

  3. Wait. Courics? Like from the episode of South Park where they were measuring poop? Did he really use a fake measurement for feces for some of those ingredients? If so that's absolutely hilarious.

  4. OK I can get past bad poetry, I suck at verse but I still use it. All that ritual mess though is like 20 years of adventuring, and if one thing is messed up it all goes to shit. Dafuq man.

    I can see the babble of crap being some book called "the ritual" found in the two towers of no name, and if some one wanted to read it for verisimilitude ok, but when push comes to shove "I do the ritual, I make my arcana DC 25 or whatever" is just a zillion times better.